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  • Money Worries possible Bankruptcy

    Hi

    Need so info or advice hope this is in the correct topic category.

    Been a while since i posted in the forums as everything for a good while has been going great... along came 2nd half of 2019 and well 2020 well we all know what happened there.

    To cut a long story short my wife has managed to get into a finincail mess .. big time !... ended up borrowing money to pay for new roof in thailand for he moms house and in Thailand .. to which she could not afford ... in turn she ended up borrowing of someone else to payback them and vice versa ... she got in to to a big mess with it and also took out money in the UK as well. Now she didn't totally declare this to me as she thought she could hide and keep to herself and sort it out ... Things over here escualated and it it just got out of control trying to pay people back and companys etc but then also survive and pay our own bills etc to live. She relise's that she has big time screwed up with putting pressure on her family over here and and thailand ... all brought through money etc.

    We ended up having to go on to a joint DMP to get finances back on track and try and save the family ... i started working an extra job to get additional cash in to ease the problem and wife also did but along came Covid19 and that stopped her 2nd job.

    It was getting to a point where my wifes pay packet from her company would be gone in the space of 12hrs after being payed and then having to go through the month with no money until next pay day and then the same again ... she dosn't want that anymore as she has seen how its recked her family.

    Stupid , reckless, .... yes she was ... plus a few other choice words... it got to a point where i told her to pack bags and go and take her kids with her as they there's and sort her life out as she dragged me through it .... when i didn't do anything wrong apart from agreeing to said loans etc ... if i had known the real reasons then i would not have agreed to them.

    Thats a brief decription to what has gone on.

    Now my questions and and advice required ...

    She has or says that all the issues in Thailand are now done and dusted. Its on the UK stuff she has to deal with.

    The DMP is over 8 years to which we both be contributing to ....to pay back ... its a sizeable chunk. Ok the credit rating is gone be absolutely wrecked both her's and mine ... But it's all the arse ache that goes along with it which is to be expected as the loans will be extended due to not finishing on time.

    My wife and girls are on the ILR and would be 2023 when they have to renew the biometric cards again.

    Now we have talked about getting a fresh start and and starting over again by possibly having to go bankrupt to get out of this nightmare. Its over quicker than the DMP but yes i fully understand the problems that will come with it been doing alot of reasearch ... but don't know if my wife will fully understand this of the explaining she will have to do to the official receivers who would undertake and explain to them clearly how she got in to the money mess.

    If we do go for the Bankruptcy option i'm under the impression she would not be able to apply for citizneship on her final visa application and would have to in return redo her ILR ... and do that for another 5 years ? .... this is the grey area that im bit unsure about the next stages of visa and effects.

    For all years up until may 2019 everything was great ...

    Any advice or info be helpful

    Cheers

    Stu







  • #2
    Stu, to be clear, do your wife and children have ILR?
    Tobias - โทเบียส
    It’s better to be 6 feet apart than to be 6 feet under.

    Comment


    • #3
      Yes ... currently have ILR

      Cheers

      stu

      Comment


      • #4
        Have things changed ? I thought ILR could last forever.
        If you're offended by any assistance I give, it says far more about you than it does me.

        Comment


        • #5
          Stu have sort of got the same problem. Last week had people at the door demanding £6000 mostly interest. My wife is either paying back her loans or sending it home. Seems it is a Thai way and the gambling, not sure I can take much more. Didn't know anything about it.
          Melnathan

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Stu1978 View Post
            Yes ... currently have ILR

            Cheers

            stu
            Mate . It is indefinite . You just get a replacement when it runs out . Nothing to see here. No application . Just a renewal . Currently ( money for old rope ) 229 quid .


            Debts and similar do impact on naturalisation but thats another story. Richard
            It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are

            Comment


            • #7
              Is an IVA an option that could be better than the 8 years DMP and far better than bankruptcy for you? Especially in the current climate, there could be more that could be done to assist you than having to go through bankruptcy, there is also a thought in the back of my mind that it might be seen as an easy option and one that could be seen as a get out clause for doing the same in the future and you could fall foul of this at another stage in the future. I have previously gone through an IVA in the past and was able to offer a full and final payment to finish it early when times got good again, it was all very tightly arranged via Insolvency practitioners. There was a forum that I joined that also had practitioners and massive amounts of advice on their, similar to this for Thai-UK, but can't find the URL, would be worth having a look at current ones where you might be able to register and cover options too.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by melnathan View Post
                Stu have sort of got the same problem. Last week had people at the door demanding £6000 mostly interest. My wife is either paying back her loans or sending it home. Seems it is a Thai way and the gambling, not sure I can take much more. Didn't know anything about it.
                Melnathan
                I will just come out and say. I have no magic bullets or instant solutions, or qualifications in marriage counselling or addictions but if after all that want a chat pm me . Richard
                It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are

                Comment


                • #9
                  Stu. Whilst I cannot offer you any advice regarding how declaring bankruptcy will affect your future applications, I sincerely hope you get things sorted and get things sorted quickly. This is very interesting and combined with Melnathan's comment an example I've shown to Rose. Right now she is very honest and transparent with me about sending money back to Thailand and what it is for etc...I hope it remains this way.

                  Stu, Melnathan, again I hope your problems are resolved promptly.
                  "Believe nothing you hear and only half of what you see" - Edgar Allan Poe

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Guys

                    Thanks for the responces.

                    Looks like may go along with renewing the ILR card when its due to expire. and wait for naturalisation until things are back on a steady boat again.

                    Its still a bit touchy at moment as i question alot now for what and where the money is going and what for ... the wife can see she has literally destroyed her own family over in thailand and here and feel sorry for her daughters who have seen there mom in alot of tears and arguments all from what she has caused. She says she would not want to do it again as she clearly see's what its done from a happy family to and very upset one. If she could turn the clock back yes defo would.

                    As regards the money situation ... from doing my research is the DMP is the best way currently as from what i understand im not restricted on my earnings whilst under it... so can bank the overtime and extra £££ to outlay to finish paying off commitments here quickly. Yes 8 years but once other things are payed off can increase the DMP payment to bring down the term of it. But both of us can can pay stuff off quicker ...

                    The IVA way looked at it ... 5 years ... 1 payment but then have to wait for 1 more year before cold get credit .
                    Problem is im restricted to what can earn for the duration and same for her.

                    Bankruptcy .... done and dusted and everything wiped off and start a fresh ... 1 year bankruptcy ... and possibly upto 3 years if have to pay anything back but could go up to 15 years if they put restrictions in place if they believe it they need to be implemented with what has happened. But could have bigger effects on other stuff from what im reading.

                    So im looking at avenues and alleyways ...

                    For me if the wife can truthful and bring the trust back at least gives me a chance to plan the course of action that i need to go ... but having to have to scarp it on a number of occasions really hurts and gets me wound up.

                    Thanks for the advice so far

                    Stu

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Sorry to hear of your predicament stu1978, unfortunately it’s something I hear about often with Thai wives, a few friends of mine in the uk have gone to all the expense of settling their wives in the uk and supporting them financially, only to find out that their wife that’s 25 years younger than them no longer wants the old man that they married, so they have affairs or leave for a younger man closer to their own age..or same as you, they send money back home to support a Thai family that then sits around all day drinking and eating because the foreigner has paid for it all....my friend in Khon Kaen has been married 8 years he bought a house and furnished it etc, just recently he had a gallstone operation, that cost him £12,000 he was very ill after the operation (he is 64 but not in good health) he spent nearly a week in intensive care, more money...he was discharged and home fir about a week when his appendix burst, back into hospital to get sorted and another £10,000 plus another week in intensive care, while he is sick in hospital his wife goes and buys a two year old Honda CR-V she doesn’t tell my friend she just went and done it...so he comes out of hospital and his bank account is empty absolutely nothing in there...so he says to his wife I loaned your brother half a million baht two year’s ago, tell him we need the money now...the brothers answer was ‘it’s all gone and I don’t have any money’....another friend of mine out there was working in the uk had a house built got married inherited her 3 kids from a previous marriage, bought her a new Ford wild track pick up etc etc, she was on dating sites seeing other men when he was in the uk, the marriage has ended and he has lost everything....I’m sorry to say that most foreigners are just seen as a walking ATM ready to be exploited, where else in the world would you build a house for a woman that you can never own? On land you can never own...and support the extended family for little or no thanks, I’ve seen it happen far to often both to my friends in Thailand and in the uk, people that should be enjoying a comfortable retirement are now broke because of their wives...I have changed my outlook on living in Thailand I won’t be building or buying anyone a house rent is the way to go, luckily for me I have a house in France so I will spend 4 months in Thailand and the rest in France. I have worked hard for my money and I’m not throwing it away on stuff you can never own, and to support an extended family that mostly don’t care....
                      but good luck to those who have committed to it

                      m

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Just wanted to add to my post above, before the haters start commenting on my post, I speak from experience, having been ‘had over’ to the tune of £5,000 over a few years, my own stupid fault got carried away with it all etc etc, same as the woman I’m seeing now, I have paid for her to come to the uk twice, and yet she had 1.3 million baht in the bank, she has worked in the government for 27 years and is quite high up in the ministry of education, she has a house in Khon Kaen and a house in nam phong that the government pays the rent on ( she is allowed 5,000 baht a month to rent a property) she has 12 rai of land as well, so I got to thinking, why have I paid the air fares, and all the fees for the visa application etc, she has more money in the bank than most of my friends in the uk! Anyway she knows how I feel about building or buying a house that I can never own, so she says, ok no problem we can live in the government house together, but now she is asking for money to buy a new car, money to help her niece through school etc, I have said no to all those requests, it’s her birthday this weekend normally I sen 5,000 baht and her and her friends and family get drunk and send me the videos of them drunk etc....every year when it’s my birthday if I’m not in Thailand all I get is a phone call...nothing else, and her family can’t even look me in the face to wish me a happy birthday, they avoid all eye contact when the camera is pointing their way...so this year I sent 2,168 baht, about £50, well the reception that got was like a lead balloon...as if it wasn’t enough! I’d be happy to get £50 for my birthday...so when I can get to Thailand hopefully later this year, I don’t expect the relationship to last to long, I’m not the walking ATM anymore and I think it’s been noticed that my attitude has changed, it is what it is, I’m sorry but I’m not prepared to prop up a greedy Thai woman and her greedy family anymore.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Essex boys View Post
                          Sorry to hear of your predicament stu1978, unfortunately it’s something I hear about often with Thai wives, a few friends of mine in the uk have gone to all the expense of settling their wives in the uk and supporting them financially, only to find out that their wife that’s 25 years younger than them no longer wants the old man that they married, so they have affairs or leave for a younger man closer to their own age..or same as you, they send money back home to support a Thai family that then sits around all day drinking and eating because the foreigner has paid for it all....my friend in Khon Kaen has been married 8 years he bought a house and furnished it etc, just recently he had a gallstone operation, that cost him £12,000 he was very ill after the operation (he is 64 but not in good health) he spent nearly a week in intensive care, more money...he was discharged and home fir about a week when his appendix burst, back into hospital to get sorted and another £10,000 plus another week in intensive care, while he is sick in hospital his wife goes and buys a two year old Honda CR-V she doesn’t tell my friend she just went and done it...so he comes out of hospital and his bank account is empty absolutely nothing in there...so he says to his wife I loaned your brother half a million baht two year’s ago, tell him we need the money now...the brothers answer was ‘it’s all gone and I don’t have any money’....another friend of mine out there was working in the uk had a house built got married inherited her 3 kids from a previous marriage, bought her a new Ford wild track pick up etc etc, she was on dating sites seeing other men when he was in the uk, the marriage has ended and he has lost everything....I’m sorry to say that most foreigners are just seen as a walking ATM ready to be exploited, where else in the world would you build a house for a woman that you can never own? On land you can never own...and support the extended family for little or no thanks, I’ve seen it happen far to often both to my friends in Thailand and in the uk, people that should be enjoying a comfortable retirement are now broke because of their wives...I have changed my outlook on living in Thailand I won’t be building or buying anyone a house rent is the way to go, luckily for me I have a house in France so I will spend 4 months in Thailand and the rest in France. I have worked hard for my money and I’m not throwing it away on stuff you can never own, and to support an extended family that mostly don’t care....
                          but good luck to those who have committed to it

                          m
                          good post,says a lot about thai-farang marriages,you can only hope for the best but prepare for the worst case scenario from day 1 of starting a relationship,me,i just pay as i go.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Like most things we hear about the bad not the good ? many of us have had zero issues with our other halves and its wrong to say that most will have issues its simply not true. Also Thai Farang marriages have the same problems as marriages in the UK and divorce settlements in the UK are very expensive so again a misleading comment.
                            Human beings are seventy percent water, and with some the rest is collagen

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Just been reading these posts now and thought I'd add a few things to balance things out.

                              Firstly, Stu (and Melnathan): I'm sorry to hear about your money troubles. I'm pretty sure quite a few of us have experienced similar issues and while things might not have escalated in the same extreme way, the "money issue" is always there in the background. Worth remembering that our wives and girlfriends are put under incredible pressure to send money home to their families as they are perceived to be living the 'dream life' and having won the lottery ticket! Nevertheless, if you feel your relationship is strong and worth salvaging then I only have one piece of advice: whatever course of action you choose to take, forgive her and don't hold any resentment whatsoever. Do that, and you'll find that the relationship between the pair of you will grow even stronger, regardless of how much money you have!


                              @Essex boys: "I’m sorry but I’m not prepared to prop up a greedy Thai woman and her greedy family anymore."
                              Fair enough, buddy. All opinions are valid and as you said, you speak from 'experience'. It seems as if the woman you are involved with is not sincere and only out for one thing.

                              But is greed an exclusively Thai trait? When you take into account the social, economic and cultural factors, I think you'll probably find that there are these types of women everywhere.

                              What about when an older bloke (doesn't even have to be older, actually) marries a young attractive wife here in England and then gets taken to the cleaners in an expensive divorce? Isn't that pretty much the same thing? Different country, different culture but the same motive: financial.

                              I'm a second generation Indian. If an Indian guy from England goes over to India to get married then he will probably encounter the exact same financial pressures from his bride-to-be and her family.

                              Now I'm not saying that there aren't Thai women who won't seek to 'take advantage' of the 'wealthy farang'. Course there are! Those of us who know the country well know that such types exist but they pretty much exist everywhere, though maybe not to the same extent. And yes, if I was an older guy, I would proceed with extreme caution when entering into a relationship.

                              But there are plenty of good Thai women too, as evidenced by the numerous posts on this forum from people who feel very positive about their relationships.

                              Felt compelled to post this, just for a bit of balance

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